When those we love leave

Most Mormons, sooner or later, have someone they care about leave the church. You would think they died, and maybe to some Mormons it seems like it would be better if they had. Why can't we love the way God loves-unconditionally? Why do we teach agency and then shun those that exercise it in a way that we oppose? Why must we insist that they can't possibly be happy? How do we know? There are people that, for whatever reason, don't find happiness as members of this church. And it's likely that it's not because they have unresolved sin (the number one reason active mormons will give for people leaving the church). They have as much right to leave as we have to stay. The overwhelming emotion I've seen expressed by those staying in the church,regarding those who are leaving, is sadness. Why can't we be happy for someone's attempt to find peace and happiness? People don't leave the church to ruin their lives, i believe many do it to make them better, to find something they weren't able to find as active members of the church. Have we ever stopped to think that this decision may have been painful and gut-wrenching? Do we think that people make this decision flippantly overnight? Not likely. They have probably been thinking about it for a while, worrying what we would say and finely decided to put themselves first (an important thing to do) and just do it. Wouldn't it be better for us, instead of talking about how hurt, sad, concerned for their soul we are, to ask them how they are coping with the decision and express sympathy for the process? Next time we have someone we love leave, let's try to show them the love the Savior would show.