Taking care of me

There are so many ways to neglect yourself. The neglect can be in time not spent caring for oneself. It can be in thought spent worrying about what other people think about us. Or, we often times horribly abuse ourselves becoming emotionally involved in the problems of others, especially problems upon which we can not possibly have any influence. We are very easy to abuse, because self-abuse comes so naturally. When we spend all of our time caring for others (as Christ-like as that sounds) and leave ourselves empty we are actually not following Christ's example. He gave us the model of taking time for Himself. He spent time in the wilderness in communion with the Father, He spent time with people He enjoyed (even when the Pharisees criticized Him for His choice of company). What is our wilderness, where do we fill up? We each need to find that place that is for us. It may be different for every person. I have a few places in the wilderness. Girls' night with my sisters, anytime I can play volleyball and reading a good novel are probably the ones that do the most for me. I believe that in the Lord's admonition in Matthew 25 to serve, he includes us. "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these..." I am the least of these and when I serve myself, when I take care of myself, when I acknowledge that I have feelings, when I understand that I have worth, then I have done the same to my Savior. We must keep ourselves safe from the people that would cause us worry, guilt and shame. Many discussions have occurred in my family centering around the idea of codependency (with its variety of definitions and explanations). The two aspects of codependency of which I have to be the most aware are: letting myself be affected by what other people think and by what other people do. In the church, it is so easy to care what other people think and to compare and to self-criticize. There's no need, the opinions of the people around us really don't matter. What matters is our opinion of ourself. It's a difficult thing to look oneself in the eye and recognize and be able to vocalize things that are good. Most people could easily come up with many of their own faults, but be hard-pressed to think of good qualities and be willing to share them aloud. Involving the other type of codependence I mentioned, people can lay their problems on us, because we let them. when someone shares a problem, our responsibility lies in the sympathy/empathy realm and not solving/internalizing. I can't control what anyone else does (sadly enough, not even my 3-year-old), so why fill my soul with the burden of other people's choices? Looking out for myself first and foremost by maintaining emotional health may to some sound selfish, but therein lies the only way to truly serve others with all of our heart, because it is a whole heart.